It hasn't been a good year, but things are all right here...

It's almost Christmas.  Merry Christmas.

I spent the day with my sister today.  We went to Joann's and Petco. Other than that we spent all day at her house.  We made cookies.  I styled Lainey's hair.

I came home and watched the Nuggets game that I had recorded earlier in the day. We lost. It was sad. I'm over it now.  I also made butterscotch haystacks. I tried a little bit and it just wasn't as good as it used to be. I don't know why. I didn't like puppy chow as much as I used to either. Maybe I'm just not in a sweets mood lately or something.

Tomorrow I'm going to clean out my car. It's a mess. And it's going to be over 50 degrees tomorrow. I'm also going to go to downtown Boulder.  The record store I like down there is going to close next month and I want to get one last visit in before that happens. I don't really have any  money to spend on records, but it'll still be fun to look. It'll be good for me to get down there and walk around also. I miss Boulder sometimes, mostly because of downtown.

Rethinking school. I want to stay here and be close to Jamie. I will be sad missing out on nieces growing up. It's difficult enough on me to know that I never get to see Atticus. I can't imagine adding other kids to the list..

I'm not going to be able to sleep for a while, so I'm going to watch another movie (just finished The Number 23 & liked it).

And if you think you are better than me you're right

Yesterday was really great.  Josie was in a pretty good mood for me the time that I had her, even though she still had a bit of a fever.  While she was napping I got to listen to a bunch of the new music Lint shared with me.  It is all such great music.  After her nap we went for a little walk outside.  We went back behind the house to watch the guys working.  After our walk, I noticed how crazy her hair was:

I realized I hadn't put her hair in a mohawk in quite a while I so I did that and took some more photos: (she only let me take a few before she wanted to be picked back up)

Tim and Erica both got home early and Tim and I left right away for Denver to see the Nuggets.  I had the best time ever at the game.  I wish I could go to every single one.  I also wish I could watch them from courtside.  I also wish I could play with them. Haha.  I finally got a Nuggets shirt (been searching for one for quite a while).  It was only $15.  They were like 25 everywhere else.

I had so much trouble sleeping last night.  I guess I was kind of still excited about the game (we won!).  I was also thinking about school. Worrying.  Thinking about how old I am going to be when I'm finished.  Wishing I had gotten it done a lot sooner.  Wondering if I even still want to go.  Etc.

Don't let go

After feeling kind of down the last couple of days, I had a great night last night & a great day today.

Last night was our work Christmas party.  I went and ate food & had a couple of drinks with a bunch of older ladies.  I work with one person my own age & the rest are probably at least 10 years older than me. (I'm not calling any of them OLD, just older.) 

I woke up with a headache this morning since I had wine last night, but it went away eventually.  I went to Jamie's shortly after waking up so I could spend the day with them.  I figure that if I'm going to be moving back to Kansas this summer, I need to spend as much time over with them as I can.  I'm going to miss them so much.

Shortly after I got there we went to JC Penney's because I had gotten a free $10 gift card from them in the mail.  I checked to see if I could find myself a Nuggets shirt, but they didn't really have anything I liked.  Then we checked for slippers because I've been wanting some & there weren't any I liked.  We checked for a scarf for Jamie, but no luck.  Finally we found some stuff for Lainey & Uh-oh #2 (what I'm calling her second until she's born & I know her name... Lainey was the original Uh-oh).  Got a shirt for each of them & a little romper for Uh-oh #2.  Paid $1.27 total.  It was a pretty good deal.

After JCP we went to JoAnn's so Jamie could get some supplies to make Christmas trees.  They are the cutest little things!  If I ever have a home of my own I'm going to make her help me make some.  I wish I was as crafty as she is.  I can bake, but that's as far as my talents go.

After that we went back to her house so that Lainey could take a nap.  While she slept we... well, I don't remember what we did.  I think Jamie worked on her trees and Jason & I just sat around.  For all I know, I took a little nap, because I usually do at Jamie's when Lainey is napping (something about the quiet always puts me to sleep).

Once Lainey woke up from her nap we went to the little nursery near their house.  We saw ponies, a big fat goat and Santa Clause.  We walked around in the greenhouse for a while (it felt great after being out in the cool for a bit) and took pictures of Lainey.  It was great spending some time outside today.

I came home after hanging out at their house for a while, ate dinner & watched the Nuggets game.  Got really angry a few times because the refs were totally calling for the Suns (highest scoring team in the league, with us right behind them).  We ended up winning, so I'm happy about that.

My plans for the rest of the night are to play around online some, finish reading the book I've been working on for a while & possibly watching a movie (if I can't get to sleep & need entertainment).

Beware of enthusiasm & love. 

Each is temporary & quick to sway.

All I have

Everybody's hurting.
Everybody knows it.
Are you trying to stop it?
Everyone's watching.
What are you gonna do?

Are you trying to stop it? Everyones watching.
Everyone is conversing. Everyone's listening.
Oh, yeah, they were apart.
He was apart, she was a part of it
Oh, falling apart, is anyone watching?
Is anyone listening? Are we listening?

And all I have, is all of me.
And it's all that I can give.
Our disappointed hearts will heal.
Our hearts will spill, over you, over me, over this.

They never knew, they never knew, what you're going through.
Cause you've got everybody thinking,
There's nothing wrong with you.
And you fall apart, cause you felt apart.
And they were a part of it.
Oh, falling apart, is anyone watching?
Is anyone listening? Are we listening?

And all I have, is all of me.
And it's all that I can give.
Our disappointed hearts will heal.
Our hearts will spill, over you, over me, over this.

On dark and stormy days, somewhere it's glowing.
And even though I know I'm here, I know I'm going.
Oh you never stop, you just collide.
Collapse on to your side.
Surprise and make it right.
Yeah!

And all I have, is all of me.
And it's all that I can give.
Our disappointed hearts will heal.
Our hearts will spill, over you, over me, over this.